Happy New Year! I know I’m a little late, but I’ve had a bit of the ‘back to school blues’ if you will. Winter break has often been my time to recharge and get excited for the second half of the school year. Kindergartners in January can suddenly do so many amazing things! They seem to grow an inch or two over break and with that they seem to suddenly become confident in their emerging abilities as readers, writers and mathers! But this year was different, and I was just not ready to go back.
You might even say I was dragging my feet. Worse than that little one who wants to stay home with mommy instead of coming to play with me in kindergarten. I only went into school twice over break and only long enough to clean-up Christmas and all of the gingerbread man centers and stuff. I didn’t even give the kids new table spots and that is something I try to do every month! It was rough.
I’m a ‘glass half full’ kind of gal by nature. Always trying to look at what I ‘can do’ versus what I ‘cannot’. A teacher friend of mine gave me that advice a few years ago and I’ve sort of adopted it as my own. There are so many things in the teaching profession that we can’t control; class size, student behaviors, schedules, support, curriculum or lack there of, test scores, data days, teacher evaluation, it can be overwhelming. So when I’m feeling a bit worn and dreading going to work, I pull that phrase out and reflect on what I can do. Because I do have my own little ‘sphere of control’ which is my own classroom and what goes on there.
Sometime around the first of the year, I began collecting sayings or quotes to inspire myself. I even shared them with my daughters and some friends hoping that if I were able to inspire others I might be able to inspire myself. Here are a few of my favorites.
The phrase ‘fake it, til you make it’ comes to mind as I think of the start of this new year. My hope was that if I cheered myself on enough times things would change. But you know how that goes, and if you’re anything like me, your emotions show on your face, in the way you walk, in your interactions and how you engage with others. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t fooling anyone, especially me.
There is an amazingly kind and thoughtful member of our staff who was trained this past summer in a yoga program called ‘Breathe for Change’. Peg has been kind enough to put herself out there and lead a few yoga sessions with staff. She is on our school leadership team and we have intentionally added a bit of yoga to some of our staff development meetings and activities. Peg has really stepped out of her comfort zone by doing this and I have so admired how she has shared this with her class as well. This year she is calm and happy in a way I haven’t seen her before. She is still the quiet Peg we all know, but she is now more of a quiet force than just plain quiet. She left me a little message in my mailbox just saying how much she appreciates working with me. I know she has done this for others as well. Her timing is spot on and these little gestures have been so meaningful this year as I have struggled with the blues.
“Today is the first day” was a message I sent to a close friend just this past Sunday. It was the first day of this year when I didn’t just think about making a change, I actually did it. On Sunday I found a YouTube video for beginning yoga. I got up, put that video on and did an 18 minute yoga routine. I was terrible at it! It was hard! But, when it was done, and I was sitting in my relaxed yoga pose just focusing on my breathing, I felt good. I had accomplished one little step in starting to take care of me.
I repeated my little yoga routine on Monday morning and then off to school I went. I ran copies, set up for a busy Monday, and found myself chatty and smiling in the work room with my colleagues. It dawned on me that I hadn’t done that for so long! On Tuesday, again the little yoga routine and off to work I went. This time it wasn’t me that noticed the change in attitude and the smiles as I worked, it was the people around me that did. So what was it that chased my gray cloud away? The yoga? Maybe. I’m thinking perhaps the little bit of positive energy added to my daily routine rippled like a rain drop in a lake and just spread. I made a point to find Peg on Tuesday. I told her that I thought of her every morning as I sat down on my yoga mat and took that first positive breath to start my day. Tomorrow is Friday and I’m typing with a smile on my face. It feels good to finally feel good!
Happy New Year! I may be a little late, but I finally found a little happy in my new year! My smile is mine again. There is no pretending to be happy when my littles walk through my classroom door. Teaching is suddenly fun again and my center is making its way back to my heart. If you too are feeling a little blue, I send you this message; be kind to yourself, be patient and give yourself grace. Take care of you so that you can take care of the little ones in your care. I hope this year finds you happy in all you do!
Kindest regards my friends, until next time…
A Kinder Mindset 